I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
