Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
