My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
