I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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