Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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