there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
