I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
