Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
