Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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