I faked an abortion last night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
