just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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