He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
