Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
