it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
