Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
