just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
