Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
