I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
