Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
