His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
