cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
