I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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