i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
