she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
