Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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