Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
