What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
