She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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