I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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