I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
