sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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