i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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