Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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