i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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