He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
