my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
