But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
