I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
