Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
