Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i dont even know how to be here
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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