This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
