we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
