Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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