I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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