hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
