my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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