He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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