Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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