it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This house was built for laser tag.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
