I cockslap morals
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
