I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize
