At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
